Striving for the Dream...

A common phrase I respond with when people ask me how I'm doing is "Just livin the dream". I really truly have very little to complain about and a lot to be grateful for. I have amazing friends, a job I love, and my cat is adorable. So why am I in the dark place...

I have learned how to do so many things in the last few weeks at the new company I work for. I still have a ton to learn. I have found some time to help a few friends out with some things and that always makes me happy, and honestly I'm a bit frustrated with myself for being so discontent with life. I'm trying to get to the heart of it, and I'm telling you right now it's all I've been able to think about for the last several weeks. 

I think what it boils down to is progress and purpose. I am built to progress (I believe most of us are) and when I feel like I'm not progressing it really takes a told on my OCD Type A personality. 

I've been thinking so much about balance and how in the last 6-8 years of my life I've learned hard lessons about the importance of balance. They are lessons that were tough and unpleasant and I don't want to have to relearn them. With all the craziness going on in my life right now I need to find a thing or two I accomplish just for me. Something to dedicate some time and energy to that will enrich my life, contribute to my happiness, and help me feel the peace I've been missing. 

I recently heard someone say that they don't believe things happen for a reason. That basically he felt that phrase was just a thing people say to cope with the hard stuff. I could not disagree more. I truly believe that things happen in life for a reason and that we're in the situations we're in to learn and grow. I remind myself of that regularly because, yes....it helps me cope with the hard stuff...but also it reminds me to pay attention, think deeper about the situation, and ask myself "Why is this happening". 

What I do know for sure...I love my friends and I'm so thankful that they put up with me. I love my religion. I cuss like a sailor, and I'll never be the best example of a Mormon (excuse me...Latter Day Saint), but the peace I feel the more involved I am in the church, and the discontent I feel the farther away I get can't be denied. I could talk more about my thoughts on this, but I'll save that for another time. 

I would love to hear what y'all think about progression and purpose. Are you progressing? What do you do to feel at peace with life?

Love you all. 

Jacque 

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